If I were gonna commit suicide by jumping off a building…I’d do a flip. 

WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

Uhh..eating in a high chair

» Asked by tumblrbot

The “Chat” Example for Tumblr….lol

Has anyone ever read the example that tumblr used for the “chat” option. It’s pretty spiteful for no real reason. Actually it seems like it is pretty personal. If you haven’t read it yet, I will explain it to you. It goes like this:

Tourist: Do you know how to get to an Olive Garden from here?

New Yorker: No, but I can direct you to a real Mutha fuckin Italian restaurant. Cause only posers and bitches go to Olive Garden. Their food sucks and half of it isn’t even Italian!

….ok…. I embellished a bit, but that is basically what it said. Who ever came up with that example for Tumblr chat is quite the troll. I’m just saying…

comedycentral:

Seven years ago, Steve Carell left The Daily Show, and no one’s really heard much from him since. Well, last night, he stopped by the show and revealed to Jon Stewart that he’s actually become quite a prolific author.

Click the gif to watch the interview.

comedycentral:

Tonight’s all-new Workaholics has everything you could ever possibly want out of a TV show: The Black Keys, faulty hovercrafts and Kids in the Hall’s Bruce McCulloch.

See for yourself tonight at 10:30/9:30c. In the meantime, click the image for a preview clip.

Telemarketers make me wonder.

I’m sitting at home watching tv, and the house phone rings. I ignore it for about the fifth time today. I know it is a telemarketer, and like most people I hate telemarketers. They call and call and call, knowing that they will never sell anybody anything. I let it ring, not really thinking about it. But for some reason today I started wondering about telemarketers and realized, they give me a lot of questions. What does that mean? Well I’ll tell you. Who actually pays a telemarketer? I guess the company they are advertising for does… but why?  Has a telemarketer ever made a sale? And if so what did they sell and who bought it? Do telemarketers get sad when I ignore them? Maybe telemarketers are just misunderstood. Maybe they are part of some religion…like Jehovah’s Witnesses and no really ever gave them a chance. Maybe they believe in a religion that only allows them to contact people through the phone and when they make a sell that is the only way they can support they’re way of life. Hmm telemarketers….they make me wonder.

Otto, why don’t you get some more gas? Here’s the “credit card”.